In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent,
the Merciful
FAMILY STRUCTURE DURING JAHILIYAH
[Islam making it a boon for “womenfolk”]
[Shamim A Siddiqi,
Introduction: Arabs were practicing the Deen of Ibrahim (AS).
However, they corrupted it with a lot of pagan customs and idol worshipping that
had no bearings with the sole spirit of monotheism that Abraham professed and
practiced in the whole of his life. He built the House of Allah purely for His
worship but later on people infested it with hundreds of idols that were accommodated
in Baitullah [House of Allah]. Their worship was nothing but “whistling and
hands-clapping” and Qur’an confirms it [Ref: Al-Anfal: 35] Islam just discarded
the wrong parts of each, made its objectivity clear and retained all the
“Manasik” of Hajj for total devotion and
making the believers committed to Allah alone. So is the case with Arab’s social
and cultural customs and traditions of Jahiliyah. Islam purified each of them and
adopted what was good for the humans. The institution of marriage was one of
them that Islam inherited from Arab Jahiliyah, galvanized it on its principles
of Tawheed and accountability in Akhirah and made it a boon for human society.
It caters a very basic need or natural instinct of sex in an appropriate and rightful
manner.
Family
structure during Jahiliyah was more or less the same as it is today: a father,
a mother, children of the spouses, parents of bridegroom and his siblings.
Siblings and the grown-up children of spouses used to have their own
establishment after marriage to lead an independent matrimonial life of their
own, a custom that was full of blessings. It was helping the society in
building and developing independent individual characters both of men and
women. The institution of marriage was a blessing in building the sweet home as
model building blocks for an ideal Islamic society where parents look after the
character of each boy and girl under their direct supervision. It is, therefore,
essential that I must illustrate and elaborate broadly the institution of
marriage as it was functioning during Jahiliyah and its enlightening process
through which it was adopted and implemented in the Islamic system as a sacred
trust of Abrahamic faith. Family system
survived in Arab Jahiliyah as it was interwoven with Abrahamic faith. But it is
still giving its benedictions though in much degraded form due to unhealthy influence
of Indian and Euro-American cultures.
Basic Ingredients of a marriage during
Jahiliyah were:
* Marriage proposal from the side of the bridegroom
to the parents or the Vali [guardian] of the bride;
* Acceptance of the proposal by the bride
or her parents or guardian on her behalf [or rejection as the case would have
been];
* Fixation of “Maher” [an obligatory gift
for the bride] from the bridegroom [keeping the status of the bride and to her
acceptance];
* Arrangement of marriage performance by the
bridegroom [a tradition that Muslims have left subsequently under the cruel
influence of Indian tradition where, unfortunately, all the arrangement of
marriage fall on the shoulders of brides’ parents together with fulfilling a
big demand list of Jaheez (dowry) that very often cause the breakdown of
marriage if it is not “sufficient” upto the expectation of bridegroom];
* Nikah [Marriage contract] – the formal
acceptance of the “proposal” by the bride and the bridegroom in the presence of
her Vali and at least two witnesses;
* Walima [A Marriage feast] to be
arranged by the bridegroom
[Reference:
“Balooghul Arab” Vol. II page 300 to 327 Pub. Urdu Board,
Transformation from Jahiliyah to
Islam – Important Features:
1. Till today, Islam retains all the above formalities of marriage. It
elevated the position of women and the right to accept or reject the proposal
of marriage was given to women. The “Maher” was her own asset and she was and
is totally empowered to expend it the way she likes. If by her free choice, she
gives something back to husband, he then can use it for his benefit. Khadija
bint Khwailad (RA) was one of the richest ladies in Makkah in Jahiliyah. After her
marriage with Rasulullah (S) one day she gave her entire cash to Rasulullah for
spending in the way of Allah and called the tribal chiefs to be the witness. Rasulullah
(S) accepted her gesture Allah (SWT) rewarded her with house of pearls in
Jannah. Arch Angel Jibreel came and delivered this message to Rasulullah (S)
with Allah’s Salaam to her.
2. Arabs preferred to have male children. The more a woman could give
birth to male children, the higher position she was holding in the family. This
is the eternal desire of male dominated societies and will continue for all
times to come.
3. In Jahiliyah, after the death of husband the woman was treated as the
“property” and was thus inherited by her own son who used to marry her own
mother and give birth to his children. Islam totally abolished this heinous
custom for good. [Ref: Verse 22 of Surah Al-Nisa]
4. The girls who were left as orphans after the death of their father
were treated very harshly in Jahiliyah. They were practically forced to marry
within the family so that property inherited by her remains within its bounds.
They were extremely ill treated. Islam introduced new rules to correct the
situation and authorized people to marry outside upto four women at the most
and should not torture the orphans. Islam declared sever punishment for those
who usurped the wealth of orphans as if they are eating fire. Surah Al-Nisa
from verse # 2 to 10 regulates the condition of orphans and suggests ways and
means to treat them fairly and honestly.
Islam declares that who usurps the “mal” [wealth] of orphans actually
fills his belly with fire.
5. Polygamy: Polygamy was the fashion of the day during Jahiliyah but
Islam restricted it to four at the most but that too with justice to all,
otherwise, be contented with only one. [Ref: Verse # 3 of Surah Al-Nisa] Islam
accepted polygamy as a need and necessity of humans and retains it howsoever it
may be averse to the liberals and the protagonists of feminism. It is better to
have the provision of more than one marriage instead of keeping many
girl-friends with no family responsibility and making the society corrupt.
6. Divorce: This was a common practice in Jahiliyah. Arabs used
to give three separate “Tilaq” [divorce] in three separate sittings. This
tradition was first introduced by Prophet Ishmael (AS). Arab adopted it. [Ref:
Balooghul Arab; Vol. II page 364] This method is continuing in Islam too. Islam
refined it. Its categorical rules have been prescribed in Surah Al-Baqarah in
detail. There were three format of Tilaq in Jahiliyah: Tilaq, “Zehar” [when the
husband compares his wife with a thing that is prohibited, e.g., comparing his
wife with his mother’s back] and “E’lla”
[temporarily withdrawing from wife. [Ditto] The duration of “E’lla” in
Jahiliyah was one or two years but Islam restricted it only to four months]
Islam recognized all the three format of Divorce and regulated each through
Qur’anic injunctions.
7. “Khulaa” [separation]: The other method of separation between husband and
wife was “Khulaa.” It means that what was given to wife by husband must be
returned back to him and then she will get separation. “Balooghul Arab”
narrates a story at page 365 that the first “Khulaa” was made effective by Amir
Bin Al-Zarab who married his daughter to his nephew but the girl did not like it.
The nephew complained to the father who said that two things cannot go together
that you lose your wife as well as your “mal”. He returned the mal and separated
them. Islam accepts the same process as condition of Khulaa,
8. “Iddah”: [Waiting period] Women used to complete the period of
Iddah after divorce and after the death of their husbands. In Jahiliyah, the
women used to wear the worst possible dress and retire to a very secluded small
place in the house for completing one year of Iddah in a very horrible
situation and then throw a “meingni” [the fossil of goat] and rub her body with
the skin of a goat or a bird before coming out of Iddah. Islam abolished the
aforesaid custom and reduced the period of: Iddah” to four months and ten days.
[Al-Baqarah: 234]
9. Marriage of widow: Marrying
widows was permissible as a general custom in Jahiliyah; rather, it was the
prevalent tradition. Islam continued this as it is, rather, encourages it.
10. Children’s Custody: Arab
Jahiliyah was a male dominant society. Children belonged to father not to
mother to possess them in case of divorce or separation. Islam retained this
provision of Jahiliyah. It comes in contrast to the western societies that give
right to mother to have the custody of children after separation or divorce and
claim subsistence from the ex-husband with no control over his children till
they get maturity.
11. Right of Inheritance: In Jahiliyah
women could not inherit any things from their parents or husband at all after
their death. It was a kind of Zulm [oppression] on the women folk. Islam
introduced the law of inheritance and fixed her share in the property of the
deceased, half of the share of men and prescribed rules in detail in the Qur’an
so that no body could deny it under any circumstances. She is fully entitled to
have her own business, operate her bank account and be recognized as an economic
identity on its own merit against denial in Jahiliyah.
12. Other customs of Jahiliyah within
the family structure: Arab during Jahiliyah made certain kind of
relations as Haram Islam maintained it. Arabs did not like during Jahiliyah to
marry their own mothers, daughters, Khala, Phoophi [aunts from both side]
except the case of Hajib bin Zararah of Banu Tamim who married his daughter and
had children from her. [Ditto page 369] Quraish used to avoid marriages in
close family circle lest they may destroy the sanctity of “Haram” relations.
Islam maintains the sanctity of these relations. In Jahiliyah, Arabs, at a
time, used to have two sisters in marriage. Islam totally prohibited it [Ref:
Verse 23 of Surah al-Nisa].
Conclusion: Thus the family structure in Jahiliyah was more or less
retained in Islam after eradicating its evil traditions, removing the
oppressive designs and making it more supportive to womenfolk. I have tried to
cover the most prominent customs that were the integral part of the family
structure during Arab Jahiliyah, pinpointing how they were adopted and retained.
Islam by getting each of them purified, making
them human and conducive to the spirit of justice and “Adl” as per the Islamic
code of conduct brought the women folk at par with men. Islam elevated the
position of women from the status of serfdom in Jahiliyah to the state of equality
and dignity for all times to come. However, it is a different story that the
enlightened world is dragging her again to the position of serfdom to lust of
men and slave to his/her own mean urges.
Shamim A Siddiqi
Website: WWW.dawahinamericas.com March 24, 2005