In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent,
the Merciful
FAMILY STRUCTURE DURING JAHILIYAH
[Shamim A Siddiqi, NY]
Introduction: Arabs were practicing the Deen of Ibrahim (AS). However, they
corrupted it with a lot of pagan customs and idol worshipping that had no
bearings with the sole spirit of monotheism that Abraham professed and
practiced in the whole of his life. He built the House of Allah purely for His
worship but later on people infested it with hundreds of idols that were
accommodated in Baitullah [House of Allah]. Their worship was nothing but
“whistling and hands-clapping” and Qur’an confirms it [Ref:
Al-Anfal: 35]. Islam just discarded the wrong parts of Hajj
rituals, making them clean, by retaining “Manasik” for making the
believers committed to Allah alone. So is the case with Arab’s social and
cultural customs and traditions of Jahiliyah. Islam purified each of them and
adopted what was good for the humans. The institution of marriage was one of
them that Islam inherited from Arab Jahiliyah, galvanized it on its principles
of Tawheed and accountability in Akhirah and made it a boon for human society.
It caters a very basic need or natural instinct of sex in an appropriate and
rightful manner.
Family structure
during Jahiliyah was more or less the same as it is today: a
father, a mother, children of the spouses, parents of bridegroom and his
siblings. Siblings and the grown-up children of spouses used to have their own
establishment after marriage to lead an independent matrimonial life of their
own, a custom that was full of blessings. It was helping the society in
building and developing independent individual characters both of men and
women. The institution of marriage was a blessing in building the sweet home as
model building blocks for an ideal Islamic society where parents look after the
character of each boy and girl under their direct supervision. It is,
therefore, essential that I must illustrate and elaborate broadly the
institution of marriage as it was functioning during Jahiliyah and its enlightening
process through which it was adopted and implemented in the Islamic system as a
sacred trust of Abrahamic faith. Family
system survived in Arab Jahiliyah as it was interwoven with Abrahamic faith.
But it is still giving its benedictions though in much degraded form due to
unhealthy influence of Indian and Euro-American cultures.
Basic Ingredients of a marriage during
Jahiliyah were:
* Marriage proposal from the side of the
bridegroom to the parents or the Vali [guardian] of the bride;
* Acceptance of the proposal by the bride
or her parents or guardian on her behalf [or rejection as the case would have
been];
* Fixation of “Maher” [an obligatory gift
for the bride] from the bridegroom [keeping the status of the bride and to her
acceptance];
* Arrangement of marriage performance by the
bridegroom [a tradition that Muslims have left subsequently under the cruel
influence of Indian tradition where, unfortunately, all the arrangement of
marriage fall on the shoulders of brides’ parent together with fulfilling a big
demand list of Jaheez (dowry) that very often cause the breakdown of marriage
if it is not “sufficient” upto the expectation of bridegroom];
* Nikah [Marriage contract] – the formal
acceptance of the “proposal” by the bride and the bridegroom in the presence of
her Vali and at least two witnesses;
* Walima [A Marriage feast] to be
arranged by the bridegroom
[Reference:
“Balooghul Arab” Vol. II page 300 to 327 Pub. Urdu Board,
Transformation from Jahiliyah to Islam –
Important Features:
1. Till today, Islam retains all the above formalities of marriage.
It elevated the position of women and the right to accept or reject the
proposal of marriage was given to women. The “Maher” was her own asset and she
was and is totally empowered to expend it the way she likes. If by her free
choice, she gives something back to husband, he then can use it for his
benefit. Khadija bint Khwailad (RA) was one of the richest ladies in Makkah in
Jahiliyah. After her marriage with Rasulullah (S) one day she gave her entire
cash to Rasulullah for spending in the way of Allah and called the tribal
chiefs to be the witness. Rasulullah (S) accepted her gesture Allah (SWT)
rewarded her with house of pearls in Jannah. Arch Angel Jibreel came and
delivered this message to Rasulullah (S) with Allah’s Salaam to her.
2. Arabs preferred to have male children. The more a woman could
give birth to male children, the higher position she was holding in the family.
This is the eternal desire of male dominated societies and will continue for
all times to come.
3. In Jahiliyah, after the death of husband the woman was treated as
the “property” and was thus inherited by her own son who used to marry her own
mother and give birth to his children. Islam totally abolished this heinous
custom for good. [Ref: Verse 22 of Surah Al-Nisa]
4. The girls who were left as orphans after the death of their
father were treated very harshly in Jahiliyah. They were practically forced to
marry within the family so that property inherited by her remains within its
bounds. They were extremely ill treated. Islam introduced new rules to correct
the situation and authorized people to marry outside upto four women at the
most and should not torture the orphans. Islam declared sever punishment for
those who usurped the wealth of orphans as if they are eating fire. Surah
Al-Nisa from verse # 2 to 10 regulates the condition of orphans
and suggests ways and means to treat them fairly and honestly. Islam declares that who usurps the “mal”
[wealth] of orphans actually fills his belly with fire.
5. Polygamy: Polygamy was the fashion of the day
during Jahiliyah but Islam restricted it to four at the most but that too with
justice to all, otherwise, be contented with only one. [Ref: Verse #
3 of Surah Al-Nisa] Islam accepted polygamy as a need and
necessity of humans and retains it howsoever it may be averse to the liberals
and the protagonists of feminism. It is better to have the provision of more
than one marriage instead of keeping many girl-friends with no family
responsibility and making the society corrupt.
6. Divorce: This was a common practice in Jahiliyah.
Arabs used to give three separate “Tilaq” [divorce] in three separate sittings.
This tradition was first introduced by Prophet Ishmael (AS). Arab adopted it. [Ref:
Balooghul Arab; Vol. II page 364] This method is continuing in
Islam too. Islam refined it. Its categorical rules have been prescribed in
Surah Al-Baqarah in detail. There were three format of Tilaq in Jahiliyah: Tilaq, “Zehar” [when the husband compares his wife with a thing that is
prohibited, e.g., comparing his wife with his mother’s back] and “E’lla” [temporarily withdrawing from
wife. [Ditto] The duration of “E’lla” in Jahiliyah was one or two years but
Islam restricted it only to four months] Islam recognized all the three format
of Divorce and regulated each through Qur’anic injunctions.
7. “Khulaa” [separation]: The other method of separation between
husband and wife was “Khulaa.” It means that what was given to wife by husband
must be returned back to him and then she will get separation. “Balooghul
Arab” narrates a story at page 365 that the first “Khulaa” was
made effective by Amir Bin Al-Zarab who married his daughter to his nephew but
the girl did not like it. The nephew complained to the father who said that two
things cannot go together that you lose your wife as well as your “mal”. He
returned the mal and separated them. Islam accepts the same process as
condition of Khulaa,
8. “Iddah”: [Waiting period] Women used to complete
the period of Iddah after divorce and after the death of their husbands. In
Jahiliyah, the women used to wear the worst possible dress and retire to a very
secluded small place in the house for completing one year of Iddah in a very horrible
situation and then throw a “meingni” [the fossil of goat] and rub her body with
the skin of a goat or a bird before coming out of Iddah. Islam abolished the
aforesaid custom and reduced the period of: Iddah” to four months and ten days.
[Al-Baqarah: 234]
9. Marriage of widow:
Marrying widows was permissible as a general custom in Jahiliyah;
rather, it was the prevalent tradition. Islam continued this as it is, rather,
encourages it.
10. Children’s Custody:
Arab Jahiliyah was a male dominant society. Children belonged to father not to
mother to possess them in case of divorce or separation. Islam retained this
provision of Jahiliyah. It comes in contrast to the western societies that give
right to mother to have the custody of children after separation or divorce and
claim subsistence from the ex-husband with no control over his children till
they get maturity.
11. Right of Inheritance: In
Jahiliyah women could not inherit any things from their parents or husband at
all after their death. It was a kind of Zulm [oppression] on the women folk.
Islam introduced the law of inheritance and fixed her share in the property of
the deceased, half of the share of men and prescribed rules in detail in the
Qur’an so that nobody could deny it under any circumstances. She is fully
entitled to have her own business, operate her bank account and be recognized
as an economic identity on its own merit against denial in Jahiliyah.
12. Other customs of Jahiliyah within the
family structure: Arab during Jahiliyah made certain kind of
relations as Haram Islam maintained it. Arabs did not like during Jahiliyah to
marry their own mothers, daughters, Khala, Phoophi [aunts from both side]
except the case of Hajib bin Zararah of Banu Tamim who married his daughter and
had children from her. [Ditto page 369] Quraish used to
avoid marriages in close family circle lest they may destroy the sanctity of
“Haram” relations. Islam maintains the sanctity of these relations. In
Jahiliyah, Arabs, at a time, used to have two sisters in marriage. Islam
totally prohibited it [Ref: Verse 23 of Surah al-Nisa].
Conclusion: Thus the family structure in Jahiliyah
was more or less retained in Islam after eradicating its evil traditions,
removing the oppressive designs and making it more supportive to womenfolk. I
have tried to cover the most prominent customs that were the integral part of
the family structure during Arab Jahiliyah, pinpointing how they were adopted
and retained. Islam by getting each of
them purified, making them human and conducive to the spirit of justice and
“Adl” as per the Islamic code of conduct brought the women folk at par with
men. Islam elevated the position of women from the status of serfdom in
Jahiliyah to the state of equality and dignity for all times to come. However,
it is a different story that the enlightened world is dragging her again to the
position of serfdom to lust of men and slave to his/her own mean urges.
Shamim A Siddiqi